THE ROLE OF THE THREE-BREASTED MUTANT HOOKER FROM MARS MAKES ME AN ICON - ACTRESS LYCIA NAFF

Odd for someone who donned 3 boobs for the original Total Recall. But as I read the reports of this faker in Florida trying to get famous by adding a third breast, I couldn't help but think back to when three boobs were actually relevant -- and not surgically-installed for sheer fame. I didn't do it for fame. I did it for kicks. 

While in purple is The 'three-breasted' woman calling herself 'Jasmine Tridevil' has been exposed as a phony,

       

Little did I know that I'd have to bare my wares on the set, however. During the 1990 filming, I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger would just see my multiple mammaries through my sheer hooker blouse. You know, a discreet peek. 

When director Paul Verhoeven said during one take, 'Ok Lycia, now open your blouse and show Arnold your wares,' I literally teared up. I was horrified and shy. The gig for kicks was now about Lycia exposing herself. 

The falsies felt real to me.

They weren't mine, of course. Not even the outside two. 

I'm constantly asked: 'Where's your third boob?' And I say, 'I had it removed. It's in a jar on my desk.' All three were designed by famous special effects guru Rob Bottin. 

He built a chest plate that started way up at my neck and went all the way down past my navel. It was soft and spongy and three make-up artists spent 8 hours each day applying this massive piece to my torso with small brushes and spirit gum. 

The seams were thin, so as to blend in with my skin. Then, more artists would paint the plate, carefully crafting the ariolas and nipples to seem real. We even shot one take where a Mars bar patron squeezed one. I thought my life, and my acting career, was over. 

Porn already? I just started!

Paul knew I could handle the long hours in the make up chair so he offered me the part without auditioning. He never told me, however, that I'd have to expose my parts to the biggest star on the planet. 

I became so shy that I refused interviews with Entertainment Tonight and The Tonight Show. I didn't want the set photog to take pics. I was mortified.

I was given the role of Mary, whose title was actually 'the 3-breasted mutant hooker on Mars,' solely because Verhoeven observed my prosthetic acting chops hard at work when we shot Clan of the Cave Bear a few years prior. I played Daryl Hannah's little sister Uba, who was a neanderthal. 

I left acting and became an undercover investigative reporter a few years later. Fame isn't what it's cracked up to be.

And after the release of the newest reboot of Total Recall, and the fast fame our newest faker in Florida, I'm back to realizing that I took that iconic role for kicks, not for cash or fame 

There was nothing to be ashamed of. And there is no boob in a jar, though I should've swiped a used triplet from the set. 

One bit of advise for our Florida faker, and anyone who thinks 'more is better': Get an education. Better to succeed with brains than with boobs.

culled from dailymail